This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize