i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
