Screwed.edu
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
