the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
