You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize