please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
