Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
