Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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