I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
