i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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