Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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