he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
