Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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