Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
