Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
