need another drink. this is the easiest way
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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