He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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