Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
