Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize