You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
So squirting runs in the family.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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