Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
