why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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