So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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