were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize