I just made out with a guy for $7.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
