I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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