are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
