I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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