Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize