I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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