She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
