Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
