So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
