i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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