thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
