you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
