Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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