Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
