he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
