Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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