dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
