So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
