i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
