we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
