My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
