I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
