i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize