She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
