everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
