u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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