i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we're so committed to being not committed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
