my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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