I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
