Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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