smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize