A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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