great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
how drunk are you?
Several
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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