what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
