Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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