he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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