What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
